tonight i did something that most of you can’t even imagine doing. i left work and rode my bike to shoreline in the snow. then i had dinner. after dinner i rode back down to greenlake and participated in a race around it (taking 2nd!) and then i watched the year-end race of champions. then i biked home. in all, probably a good hour or two of riding in snow and freezing rain.

tomorrow at 12:45pm i’m going to do something most of you did a decade ago, i’m going to take my driver’s license drive test. i’ll still bike like a crazyhead (see above), but i’ll have the option to drive as well. the funny thing is, i’m still hells of apprehensive about it. so random prayers and wellwishing is appreciated.

once i get my license it’s on to car shopping. so if you know anybody who has a diesel rabbit, golf, jetta, beetle, dasher, or the like that they’d part with for $5000 or less, let me know. these things sell like hotcakes here in seattle, there’s no two ways about it.

update: so yeah, i failed.

i’m feeling my age.

it’s not that i’m old, mind you, i’m well aware that i’m not. i’ve got plenty of vim and vigor and ability to stay out ridiculously late, ride my bike like a madman, and in general i’m in better physical condition than i’ve probably ever been. mentally though, i’m reaching a point where i am trying to figure out what to do with my life. that’s been instrumental in the topics i’ve been mulling over this past summer and autumn – work, travel, graduate school, housing, friendships. i feel like my peers and i are faced with three broad options, each somewhat exaggerated to for detail’s sake.

the first is the thrill-seeker. the immediate, as it were. this is most prevalent when i’m hanging out with .83 and is carpe diem personified. life is about experiences, doing things, the next activity – of which there are nearly infinitely many to schedule. i had a busy summer of riding bikes, bbqs, beer drinking, and more but a sense of not actually doing anything.

perhaps that’s because i remember college, and see myself as a preparer. looking toward the future. obviously, working at a major research university i’ve watched this quarter as a number of my friends have progressed through their {undergraduate, graduate, post-doctoral} positions and moved on towards their goals. i’m not sure i have any goals though. what’s more, it seems like i’m notoriously bad at achieving the ones i set. learning to wrench bikes has been fantastic, and i’m hoping to have a similarly good experience with cars and houses. but for the most part i don’t feel like i have much to prepare for. the end times perhaps?

which i could sit and wait for, if i were comfortable. i’m somewhat envious of those around me who seem to be comfortable with where they are at. i know that i often use that term as a pejorative for apathy, but i think there is true value in not feeling undue pressure to perform in either of the two directions above. of course, if you get too comfortable there is the ever-present danger of stagnation.

so where does that leave me? sort of nowhere. i’m not suggesting that these three categories above are exhaustive or exclusive, but as i look at my life and consider how incredibly quickly the last year has slipped by i wonder what life i am building and what i’m implicitly choosing for myself.

yes, it’s a month late but i’m still in fact waiting for monkey to post the photos from their halloween party. fortunately the lovely and wonderful alison came through with a classy photo of the hero of canton. if you don’t get this reference, you should watch some firefly.

seriously, i’ll loan you my dvd boxed set.