it’s interesting to think about how it changes us when we invest in people and get to know them, how people get into our hearts and never fully leave. i’ve been blessed to have so many good friends but with that comes the challenge of maintaining those friendships. not in that it is a chore, but in that with busyness and conflicting schedules it can be difficult to even find time to hang out with people. then to that you can add the friends who drift away or change so much as to be unrecognizable. i even ponder the friends that i could have had, acquaintances i’ve met who i will never have the time, energy, or ability to pursue a friendship with. all of these people leave pieces of themselves in your heart in a way that is at once mundane from endless repetition and yet remains mysterious in each individual execution.

theologically i don’t have a strong concept of heaven. i’ve gone beyond the simple understanding of physical realm of clouds and angels and whatnot, but i don’t know what i understand of it. this i follow: in Christ, in the end, we are all brought together for eternity. i’m not sure exactly what that means, but as best i can conceive of it is this: those tiny pieces of heart that touch one another most intimately are but a foreshadowing of what Christ’s unity looks like. and i guess that’s what i’m hoping in, because i don’t know what else there is for me?

so i guess you might be wondering why it is that i don’t have a car yet. i’ve been talking about it for almost nine months now, even going so far as to get a driver’s license. i’ve spent plenty of time researching, looking at vehicles on craigslist, and talking with knowledgeable folks, and i think i’ve figured out what kind of car i really want: none, at least not right now.

there are three primary reasons for this. of course there are numerous others, but these three are the most compelling.

firstly, i love riding my bike. i really, really do. there is basically nothing i love more than flying free over the streets of the town. i love the community aspect of it, recognizing my friends as we pass by or divert course a bit to head the same way. and i love taking in the sights of the city. i’ve seen so much more of seattle in the past year than in the seven before. even when the weather is working against me, i love it. now that spring and summer are upon us, i would even less like to be sitting in – or more likely wrenching under – a car.

the second reason is a little more complicated, but it has to do with how i think about cars. we have been conditioned to look at the image that owning a certain car projects about us. i’ve been fomenting an essay on this topic for some time, hopefully i’ll get it written up soon and perhaps even published in cranked magazine.

cost is the third issue. i have been blessed to be able to have a very inexpensive lifestyle, and i can see advantages in keeping it that way. i’d like to be able to continue using my money and perhaps even saving a little bit, and even a crappy car is really quite a luxury at this point.

now the counterarguments and their responses:

i still would like to become car-savvy and learn how to wrench on them. unfortunately this takes more than buying a car, it also takes a desire to have it running and a place to work on it. with slightly more than three months left of the blakeley and her massive garage, any car i get would soon be relegated to the street – which is not a fun place to work.

it also would be nice to have a car for when i want to travel further or with larger loads. for example visiting ms. fisher in bellingham or my mother or friends down in camas/pdx. i don’t exactly know what to do about this desire, other than continue befriending folks who are making such trips. i also resolve this summer to take my bike down to portland on the train and ride around, perhaps up to bellingham as well. unfortunately i am about four years and nine months away from a flexcar membership.