alright, by popular request, here is the tale of my trip to portland, oregon this past weekend.

BLACK SCREEN.

suddenly, WHITE TEXT appears:

FRIDAY.

CUT TO:

EXT. I-5 FREEWAY, MID-DAY
pan across as a silver 4RUNNER with three BICYCLES on a rear rack proceeds down the freeway. the weather is cloudy, raining on and off. traffic is relatively light.

CUT TO:

INT. 4RUNNER
four men sit in the car: ANDRE is driving, PJ DIDDY is riding shotgun, and LEE and DENNY sit in the rear. a BICYCLE and MESSENGER BAGS fill the trunk space.

DENNY
man, i should have brought a gameboy or something.

ANDRE
you know what’s better than a gameboy? kryptoneetay ten thousand!

LEE reaches down and hands a KRYPTONITE COMBINATION LOCK to DENNY.

LEE
yeah, andre found this lock on the street and we’re trying to brute-force the combination.

DENNY
so how far along have you gotten? the dial says 8792.

PJ DIDDY
oh, you guys were working on that? i was just playing with it.

ANDRE gives PJ DIDDY a GLARE OF DEATH, but continues driving.

ANDRE, LEE, DENNY in unison:
damnit paul!

FADE TO:

EXT. MOTEL 6 PARKING LOT, EVENING
TIGHT shot on 4RUNNER, pull back and pan out as LEE, DENNY, PJ DIDDY, and ANDRE ride their bikes out of the parking lot and into the street. tracking shot follows them as they ride through PORTLAND en route to the CLINTON ST. THEATER.

INTRO CREDITS.

CREDITS end as the tracking shot arrives at:

EXT. CLINTON ST. THEATER, EVENING
a massive crowd stands outside the theater. the marquee reads:

PAN ACROSS the scene: at every corner there bicycles locked up. the mood is festive as the four ride up. from the front of the theater, someone yells:

JASON
two oh six in the house!

MIKE
are you guys coming to the later show?

LEE
heck yeah. for now, we’re going to go get some beers at the horse brass.

MIKE
see you guys in a little bit!

MONTAGE SHOT:
riding bikes through town, four empty beer glasses sit on the table, filled up with delicious TERMINAL GRAVITY IPA and WALKING MAN BLACK CHERRY PORTER, lifted, clank back down empty. repeat. shot of LEE “kissing” the HORSE BRASS SIGN. then riding bikes through town, returning to:

EXT. CLINTON ST. THEATER, NIGHT …

… perhaps that is enough of that. portland was fantastic. the weather was uniformly wet, cold, and windy, but we had a great time regardless (irregardless). we managed to see the 9pm show and it was a raucous affair with much cheering, jeering, and applause for the various films. the fact that they were serving new belgium beers 2 for $5 didn’t hurt either. i got to use my newfound powers of keg tapping and saved the day.

after the movies the crowd of cyclists milled around the theater and the nearby bars waiting for the midnight ride. folks were showing off their bikes, doing tricks, and generally having a good time. despite the drizzling rain, spirits were high and we set off with a keg trailer for the midnight mystery ride. we rolled down to the pathway under the morrison bridge and partied the night away until the beer was gone and we were all too cold to stay. i did manage to chat with ayleen a bit and convince her that perhaps the film fesitval could work in seattle. also there was a point where a woman crowd surfed onto my head. and we lost pj diddy for a little while. eventually we were all reunited, and then it was a quick ride back to the motel for some rest.

the next morning was even colder, and folks were in general hungover. we checked out of the motel and headed up to the paradox cafe for some delicious vegan breakfast. i had the biscuits and gravy and frankly a full order was just too much. it took us a while to finish up because we completely overloaded the joint with smelly, wet cyclists. eventually we moved on and headed downtown to hang out at powell’s. i got a bag full of books and then the general consensus was that my crew wanted to head north. i had them drop me off in camas and they continued on.

camas was nice, i got to hang out with my mom, eat at the pizza palace with wilson and the keller-arais, and then we went over to pdx to see brick. highly recommended. by the time easter morning came around though i was so exhausted that my mother (bless her heart) let me sleep in. so i got up around time for some ham dinner, and then went north with wilson and jodi while chasing good comedy on their satellite radio.

in all it was a fantastic trip, and i’m excited for the next such adventure – the multnomah county bike fair is coming up at the end of june. i think for that one i may actually bike out from camas.